Being Mrs. Right

We almost forget that as much as we want our Mr. Right, he also wants to find Mrs. Right. Who doesn't want a good wife or companion biko, well I'm talking to the "men". Gone are the days when they wanted just big booty, big boobs, fine face, long hair and a girl whose steps make a statement, oh please....all na wash. Now the men, go through close friends or family or colleagues to get the exact specification they need. In their words, I need a lady who will not give me wahala, a lady who is prayerful and can take care of my children".....and even more wishes. While we crave for a tall, dark and hands some, but you know, can pray, thry crave for even more, they want to go as far as finding out how our mothers treated or are still treating our fathers, they do more of the underground check than we do. Many of us (ladies) just need a man who would feel up the emptiness and do not consider this is a lifetime bond. You don't want to wake up a year later, stare at him and wonder why you did not go for Michael.

There's a lot we need to be conscious of, our character, our approach to life, our tolerance and patience level, our ability to take care of situations, our strength in prayers and in things that concerns God, etc.

Being Mrs. Right shouldn't cause anything stress, it should be a constant mental preparation to a happy life. No one is perfect, yes we totally agree, but as such, every one can work towards perfection.

I am Papa Ginika's Mrs. Right, lol. I also hope you're his Mrs. Right. ‎

What you should know by Yinka

I know starting over can be scary. For some of us, closing unhealthy chapters with certain people can be quite of a challenge. But my question to you is, what is having peace of mind worth to you? Keeping yourself unnecessarily attached to drama is not good for you. Entertaining someone day in and day out who isn't committed to your growth and happiness will eventually drain you. There is a whole world out there waiting for you to make beautiful memories in. Today, start taking steps towards regaining your happiness again. Start making plans to cut ties with people who aren't helpful with guiding you towards becoming a greater human being. Sometimes the only reason why your situation hasn't changed in a positive way is because you have not changed the negative people that you keep yourself around.

Ladies we love it when you speak life into us. We love it when you can speak encouraging words into us because it helps us grow into becoming greater men. Your words help plant seeds of greatest inside of your man. That is one of the reasons why the right woman in the right man's life will always carry a special kind of significance. Her love can inspire the greatest things inside of him. He can become a lot more confident. He can become a lot more focused and driven towards his dreams. He can keep himself motivated with his goals for longer periods of time just behind the goodness of her love and her words. Ladies you have an unbelievable amount of influence in your man's life. The more you speak into us, the greater we end up becoming.

‎

Source: @yinkamail

Bad parenting....

Sometimes I wonder how impatient some parents can be. There are hundreds of women out there crying everyday for the fruit of the womb, men going on their knees asking God to grant them a heir, many mothers praying for their daughters each day to give them grand children, mother in laws frustrating their daughter in laws to give them grandchildren. There are women going through pressure everyday, from family to wicked friends who laugh and talk about them behind them. 

On the other hand, there is a family who has, not one, not two but a house full of children and the best way to treat these children is to beat them like goats and slaves.

I remember one beautiful morning, as early as 5am, a good time to wake school children up in Lagos to prepare them for school, so parents could drop them off and head to their places of work to avoid the demonic early morning rush traffic. I woke up with a banging headache, I woke up to the cry of a little child who sounded like he was going to die the next second, I could also hear the sound of a belt been whipped, a sound of a stool broken, the sound of someone being slapped, it sounded like torture, it sounded like the making of one of Sobe Charles' movie. I got up, rushed towards the window, as I tried to peep, to see if I can have a look at what was happening, I could hear the child gasp for air, I could hear him cry and begging "Daddy please forgive me,daddy I will die, daddy please, mummy please beg daddy for me, daddy you're killing me, daddy please...........I had tears in my eyes, I only imagined what the cause of this treatment was and then I heard the King of his home say, "next time you'll return my car keys where I asked you to", and my heart skipped. You mean this beating was just because the little boy did not return the key where you asked him to??? Haba, and dear mum couldn't rescue the boy, when the King was done and was satisfied he left the little boy, this same boy was expected to go to school that morning. Imagine waking up to such beatings and still expected to go to school. Parenting??? Is there no way our African parents learn good parenting? Why must you transfer aggression on these children, why must you show your frustration on these children?

I have also witnessed a mother wake young children with curses and abuses. I once listened to a pastor preach and he said, whatever word you sow in a child, stays in and yields that same seed sown in him/her. How do you wake up to curses, how do you wake up to early morning shouts, how do you open your mouth as a mother and abuse children just because they're not your blood? And then you hear words like, "I don't wish to curse them, I'm just going through alot".......Nonsense. What makes you a good mother? You think is feeding your child at the right time? Not scolding him when he goes wrong? Begging him when he does rubbish? Then lashing out at other peoples' 's children? You have God to deal with. I just feel it's complete wickedness and witchcraft. Work on your emotions, work on your problems, who told you these children do not also have their problems, you think your problem is greater than the next person? You must be kidding ma. Wake up to reality, you are the cause of your problems, work on yourself, choose to be happy, stay with the right circle. These children need happiness, give them the same treatment you give your child/children. 

May God help us all.‎

The right time to move....

A friend shared this and I thought to share, well, it made a lot of sense to me. You should have something to hold. Read through:

Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.
The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.
The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us
physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let's jump while we still have the strength.

This thing called friendship......

Have you ever imagined what people say about you? Have you ever heard some weird stuff about you? Have you wondered how much of your secrets are been told? Have you imagined the stories buttered with lies said about you? Sometimes it's better to be ignorant, sometimes it's better never to know what has been said about you. I hear on radio and TV, when people say about the strangest rumour said about them, and it amuses me like crazy. But now I am in the shoes of those who hear the most hilarious and insane stories about themselves. I think there should be a limit to what people formulate in their minds, it's just extreme evil to hear things that can only be heard as a make up story for movies or plays, you know that kinda thing right?

I'm not so sure how people condemn, lie and spread rumours and secrets to the world. I will one day and very soon write about the evil make up stories I have heard about me lately. It's crazy how people cook up stories like that??? For the love of God, this should be a friend? 

Friendship indeed has gone sour, just when I was recovering from the mild one earlier this year, BOOM, this hit me. Perhaps, I should play this as a script....It should sell big time. Haba, friendship is now about pretense, the interesting part is knowing a lot of stuff that has been said and playing along (nollywood drama inside friendship), really a sad one. 

We loose good friends just because we betray them, let out their secrets, play with the trust they ever had for you. Where lies true friendship? Where are good friends? Who do we share our little problems with and not have them in the ears of a thousand people. My children would know better than this, Papa Ginika and I will teach them well #Smiles. 

Enough said, I'm working on my premiere for my first movie- Gone Grey, directed by Sobe Charles Umeh and co-produced by Seyi Hunter. It should be a good one. Kai, but friends are dangerous sha, nawa. #SMH‎

LIFE AT THE ROUNDABOUT by Comedian Forever

As a kid i grew up to depend on my parents,

As an adult, i am growing to know that they now or would eventually depend on me.

As shocked as i am, i realise that the route with which i leave my house, is the route with which i return. 

I guess there's a roundabout where life naturally turns.

We defeacate to empty our stomach, of which the emptiness of the stomach prompted us to eat.

The barber needs someone to cut his hair too.

The singer needs to listen to songs.

The teacher has to be taught

The father was fathered 

The designer needs someone to take his measurements

The child grows to start walking while the old man grows to stop walking

The man who sells casket will be carried in one...

The roundabout is a place where we are enabled to turn round to the place where we started.

I believe that life is lived at the roundabout because we grow extremely old into the same dependence unto which we were born.

The end of life really takes us back to the beginning.

Life really ends where it started.

The best way to live is to die to life

In like manner, the earth ends it's day where it started.... 

It's not like you do for me and i do for you.. No...No..

It's natural. Everything you do just happens to you

That's why the man who does evil gets evil in return.

Thus the one who does good receives good in life

What goes around comes around.

Indeed life is lived at the roundabout. 

Instagram: forevercfr

Twitter: @forevercfr

www.forevercfr.com‎

Thoughts for the day, by African Mail

Marry your best friend. Marry someone who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every day for the rest of your life. The one who makes you glad to be alive. Marry someone who drives you crazy. The one who frustrates you. The one who calms you. Marry the one you don’t mind fighting with, because they will be fair about it. Don’t marry someone who gives their ego more importance, than they give you. Marry someone who makes you the best version of yourself. The one who believes in you, even when you don’t. The one who stands by you, through thick and thin. Marry someone you can’t imagine your life without. Marry the one you are "insanely" in love with. And the one who is "insanely" in love with you. Marry the one who knows what you want to say, when you’re too tired to say it with words. The one you can spend comfortable silences with from time to time. Marry your soul mate. Marry your best friend.

How many times are you going to keep ignoring the signs that someone doesn't want you? How many times are you going to keep arguing with someone about not loving you? If you are giving someone your all and you constantly feel depleted in the end, then you are giving your love to the wrong person. Anyone who understands love knows that, what you pour into me, I have to pour right back into you. Your peace and sanity is just as important. Your smile matters just as much. Stop trying to force your way into someone's life when there is someone else out there patiently waiting to invite you in.‎

Power of the body language

So sometimes we sell out ourselves with the body language.  It is good to notice the signal that people show us, it guards us. With a little extra attentiveness, we can learn to accurately read body language and with enough practise it can become second nature.
Body language is an important part of communication which can constitute 50 percent or more of what we are saying. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes a lot of sense to learn how you can and cannot use your body to say what you mean.

Body language come in clusters of signals and postures depending on the emotional or mental state. Let us see different ways of using body language, you can include yours at the comment box.

Here are a few I know of:

Aggressive body language: this shows physical strength

Attentive body language: shows keen interest

Bored body language: not interested in the conversation or a person

Confident body language: shows he/she is comfortable

Trustworthy body language: shows you can be trusted

Submissive body language: showing you are ready to give in

Romantic body language: showing attraction

Restless body language: showing not comfortable or in some cases, tired of seeing a particular face and wants him/ her out of the house or.....

Different shades of friendship

We are quick to tag someone as "my friend", but there's just a lot to friendship. It goes beyond sitting and talking, sharing a drink and all the fun that comes just for the moment. You could know a person for 10 years or even more, but that is no guarantee that you are best friends.
Some friends are for the moment, some friends are real and true, some are ready to go an extra mile, some will tell the world just everything about you to the next person and to the next and to the next, even when you have no social tie with the person.

A lot of friendship haven't gone through that test, the test of trials, the test of going an extra mile, the test of having to keep secrets for each other. Having lots of friends and tagging all of them,  close friends can be very dangerous. Truth is, a person who has almost fifteen very close friends is likely to share secrets of each of them amongst themselves.

Friendship  these days,  is totally different from what I used to know. It used to be genuine, sincere, void of envy, little or no see finish. A friend will never hide a thing, she would defend him/her even behind them and later confront him/her. Friendship used to be treasured, it used to be a means to talk and express one's self but these days we fear the "so-called close friends" and rather keep 90 percent of our plans to ourselves for fear of the whole world knowing. #Sad indeed. I am a fan of true friendship, a fan of "don't hide stuff from one another", a fan of accomodating my "close friend". These days our friendship is based on the "moment", most frindship sour when there's nothing to gain or when there's a new kid around.

Friendship should grow beyond gossip, back biting, envy, "see-finish".  Having a million friends with no common grounds, isn't healthy. Rather picking the ones that complement us and sticking to them, being around those that love us, keeping each others' plan away from others. It can be totally appauling when an acquintance who happens to be a "close friend's friend" walks up to you to ask a personal question that was discussed between you and the "close friend".

However hard it may seem, love your friends, respect all about them and strive to be that friend that can be trusted and can be called upon even at odd times.

Applying Self-love

Self love is an action not a state of feeling good. This is one thing many people don't consider first. Though it took me a while but I now totally understand the meaning of self love, the feeling is un-explainable. I can actually say it is a doing verb, lol...well, 'cos it's an action.

Self love is a state of appreciation for oneself, that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. It is very important because it shapes our way of living, you get to pick rightly those who should be around you. Truth is, you can't love another until you love yourself first. 

Self love isn't something you buy from a mall or a beauty home, Nah, it's something you do, a conscious effort put together by yourself to completely appreciate yourself, know who you are and be able to know your need.

 

Here are some steps to guide you:

• Become mindful
• 
  
• Act on what you need rather than what you want
• 
  
• Practise good self care
• 
  
• Set boundaries
• 
  
• Protect yourself
• 
  
• Forgive yourself
• 
  
• Live intentionally
• 
  
• Spoil yourself

If you are able to work on one or two of these steps then you will begin to love yourself more. The more self love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for a healthy relationship. ‎

Source: Psychology Today

And love is the greatest...

It had to be the homily for today, "love,hope, faith abide, but the greatest of these is love".
The book of Corinthians 12:31-13:13 talks about LOVE. It says, I am nothing if I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes for all things. Love never ends: as for prophecies, they will pass away: as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

I pray this ushers us in to a beautiful February which will be filled with love that has no resentment.

We thank God for seeing the end of January (though it felt like 365 days, lol), but we are grateful. Let's move to the next month with grace. It would end in praise Fam.

Diary of a strong woman

A strong woman is one who:

Puts a smile despite the challenges

Walks courageously 

believes in herself

takes up responsibilities

Knows tomorrow will be better than her today

Prays in the midst of her troubles

Holds up her self esteem

Knows how to say NO

Remains confident 

Shines in her trouble

Who cries out in tears and gets up stronger

Is not afraid to fail and try again.

There are lots of ladies/women, going through difficult times at the moment, who can barely afford a genuine smile, some who are going through torture in their homes, those who are been harassed and manipulated but struggle to live, struggle to survive. God bless the strong woman.

Action Or Reaction by Comedian Forever

Newton's third law of motion states that "for every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction". This seems to be very correct in the world of science but a lot of people have brought the things that govern the world of science into every part of life and most times, the results are detrimental to them.

In our relationships, different set of rules apply here. Most times, for every action, there is not always an equal or opposite reaction. Sometimes, there is no reaction at all, at other times, the reaction is slow to come hence most actions have taken place and this makes the heart grow weak if actually you were expecting an equal reaction from your partner.

Every time you begin to act according to the newton's law of motion by always expecting an equal reaction when you do something, it means you are not in love rather you are playing a game of hearts because love is not meant to give back, LOVE IS JUST ACTUALLY MEANT TO GIVE.

So for instance, you do something for your partner on his/her birthday, don't expect that they would do exactly the same for you on your birthday. Also if your partner does something for you, don't equate it be that he/she is reciprocating a previous kind gesture of yours, if you operate that way, then your love is questionable.

When he/she does something for you, don't think in your heart that you must do back for him/her, just decide to always be the giver. What if they haven't given at a particular time, does it means you would wait for them to give something first or you wouldn't do anything for them?

Finally, to enjoy your relationship, always appreciate whatever your partner does for you. Be the one taking the actions always. ALWAYS DO THE LITTLE THINGS THAT YOUR PARTNER LIKES THAT REALLY COSTS NOTHING. Remember to always love unconditionally, don't make your action a reaction. Remember LOVE IS NOT MEANT TO GIVE BACK, LOVE IS ACTUALLY JUST MEANT TO GIVE.

»» Comedian Forever

»» Instagram/Twitter: @forevercfr‎

My new project...

I'm excited about a new project. It felt like hard nut to crack last year but everything is gradually taking its shape. Indeed, God has a perfect timing. Lots of heartaches, emotional pain, movement here and there but in all I thank God. I'm certain this project would be a success, oh yes it will. Right timing indeed. Plus I have one other project mid this year *tongue out*, that, has to work, it MUST work by His grace.

Okay, so i left my comfort zone and decided to try out this new project which was introduced to me by a close "sombori". It's an interesting project that should pave way to other projects. I am putting my all to this, they say, "what is worth doing, is worth doing well", as challenging as it may seem, I have put on the garment of "hustle" and no "weakness". My exercise routine is helping a lot, despite the late night meetings, I still get home energised.

I have always preached the Gospel of leave your comfort zone, I get to push others but it's my turn to do same for myself. Putting "Me" first isn't much of a bad idea, it's an innocent selfish act to bring good results.

I can't wait to share the outcome here, a lot of people who know me, will be excited about this move. ‎

You can also take up challenges, try and leave your comfort zone and try something new.

Thanks to YOU supporting me a 100 percent. God bless you now and always. ‎

The ordinary woman...

Let us celebrate the ordinary woman who takes her time to cater for the house. A woman who stays under the sun to sell, to fend for her children and her husband who probably lost his job or has very little to offer.

A woman who can sacrifice all she has for her family, a woman who knows the essence of a family. The woman who is not ashamed to sell her wrappers and old accessories to see her children in school. A woman who has to wake very early to get to the market, pay tax, or pay market council to secure a space just to sell and bring joy to the home. A woman who sometimes run after cars just to sell her little commodity. A woman who gives up her happiness just to see her children happy. A woman who holds on to God. A woman who believes everyday that the sun and rain that meets her during her daily struggle will turn in her favour. 

She is that ordinary woman who has no car, no savings, no social activity, who hustles and struggles in joy. ‎

LEARN TO BE A GREAT ACTOR By Ogbeh Ifeanyi

We have many talented people who want to be great actors in the movie industry. This reminds me of Konstantin Stanislavki System of training of actors.

According to Stanislavski, "an actor needs a soldier's discipline" to be great.

He said that it is the actor that breathes life into a written Script.  The actor makes the Script tangible, alive, valid, and exciting. 

Stanislavski believed that an actor without ethics is only a craftman, and without a technique he is a "dilettante". 

Every actor must have a wide range of inspiration. When an actor is inspired he lives the character, this is done by experiencing the emotions of the character.  

If an actor feels the emotion of the character he plays, the audience minds and feelings tend to be affected too.

Every actor should watch against: overacting, cliches and over use of mannerisms.

According to Stanislavski, an actor should never lose the feeling of real life and forget how to do the normal things he does everyday. 

He said that actors:

 1. Should learn to see, not pretend to see.

2. Should learn to hear, not pretend to listen.

3. Should talk to his fellow actors, not just read lines to them. 

4. He should feel and think.

With the above, an actor would create a real human each time he is before a camera.

‎

Stanislavski demands that every actor that wants to be great should constantly work on himself. It is a wrong notion to think that talented actors never work on themselves. Biogeaphies of a range of great actors proves the contrary. Every art demands regular practise and training.

So you do not sit at home or await a production to try to showcase what you have been known for, seek within yourself and fish out that which make you different and which will wow your fans, directors and colleagues each time you are before the camera. 

What makes great actors is not too far from train, learn and creativity. 

By Maya Angelou, Still I Rise!

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
 Weakened by my soulful cries.

 Does my haughtiness offend you?
 Don't you take it awful hard
 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

 You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

 Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

 Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

 Out of the huts of history's shame
 I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain
 I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

 Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I
 rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise
I rise
I rise.‎

OGBEH's cake

My name is Ogbeh.

 Like many persons, i never believed that acting can be taught. 

Yet we all have a clumsy beginning. I had mine and i believe you may have had yours. All through my long stage and movie career, i cannot deny the advantage of teaching, provided it can be followed up by hard personal experience. 

Let nobody think that that he/she can learn acting by mere reading books, no matter how intelligent they may be.

Acting is a practical art.

All creative art can be studied. When we were young, we immitate the people we admired, just as artists copy pictures. 

Acting is an immitation of life, in a way that music, painting and literature are not.

One should never copy acting, but rather one should experience and discover one's own way of expression for oneself. Never copy the style you see by another.

It is true that experience is the best coach. 

But there are many lessons to learn in acting:

1. Application

2. Concentration

3. Self-discipline

4. The use of the voice and body

5. Imagination

6. Observation

7. Simplification

8. Self-criticism

Every character should be moulded by the actors.

The actor is not the creator of the character, rather, the instrument of delivery. 

So, acting is an act that can be mastered.

With a few tips and a few work-out one can improve a great deal.

Try something new today

Hello from my side. Well spent weekend I believe, time to MOVE again. This time let's try something, I urge us to develop courage and embrace our vulnerability, it might seem really difficult but trust this to be achievable once you put your mind to it. I was hugged and caressed with fear some weeks ago, I must have cried and acted like a fish for few hours, but the moment I got back to reality, I had an eye contact with the problems, I got the courage to make a life changing decision and have since been stronger. 

It will be a fruitful week for us.

IG: @clarebellz 

The kind of people to run away from

Happy weekend Fam, hope the week turned out fruitful, and if it did not, take a chill, you'll have better opportunities. I know this.
So here is a list of the kind of people I run from:
1. People who do not in any way mind their business

2. Opportunists: those who stylishly stick around just for a favour and bounce when the chips are gone.

3. Dull people: I feel this should be my number one. Really sad when people can make reasonable contributions and really stay empty in their comfort zones.

4. The naysayers: those who constantly say negative words, "it won't work", "I doubt you can make it",etc.

5. The judgemental set: do or don't, this set of people have a unique attribute of judging everything you set out to do.

6. The jealous ones: oh, a majority of these kind of people are supposed to be comfortable and living good but envy the very little thing the next person has.

7. Those who say at the airport: "please, let me use your kg", mtchew, awon ayè (world people

8. Those girls who put "r" in God, and use "as in" in every single sentence #hehe

9. Those who are experts in "colonizing" other peoples' friends.

Here are a few from my friends:

10. Timipre runs from: saddist, gossips, envious and greedy people.

11. Busta runs from fake peop

12. Hardy Chinedu Nwadike (oTown Gist) runs from dull people, he says he can't stand them. It's totally wrong not to have small sense, just small. Haha

13. Fancie a very fine good bad guy that I know, lol. He says he'd run from people like me 'cos the fear of Clare is the beginning of wisdom. I drop my golden pen here.

14. Le bestie, Sophie saays she runs from negative and wicked people.