Sometimes I wonder how impatient some parents can be. There are hundreds of women out there crying everyday for the fruit of the womb, men going on their knees asking God to grant them a heir, many mothers praying for their daughters each day to give them grand children, mother in laws frustrating their daughter in laws to give them grandchildren. There are women going through pressure everyday, from family to wicked friends who laugh and talk about them behind them.
On the other hand, there is a family who has, not one, not two but a house full of children and the best way to treat these children is to beat them like goats and slaves.
I remember one beautiful morning, as early as 5am, a good time to wake school children up in Lagos to prepare them for school, so parents could drop them off and head to their places of work to avoid the demonic early morning rush traffic. I woke up with a banging headache, I woke up to the cry of a little child who sounded like he was going to die the next second, I could also hear the sound of a belt been whipped, a sound of a stool broken, the sound of someone being slapped, it sounded like torture, it sounded like the making of one of Sobe Charles' movie. I got up, rushed towards the window, as I tried to peep, to see if I can have a look at what was happening, I could hear the child gasp for air, I could hear him cry and begging "Daddy please forgive me,daddy I will die, daddy please, mummy please beg daddy for me, daddy you're killing me, daddy please...........I had tears in my eyes, I only imagined what the cause of this treatment was and then I heard the King of his home say, "next time you'll return my car keys where I asked you to", and my heart skipped. You mean this beating was just because the little boy did not return the key where you asked him to??? Haba, and dear mum couldn't rescue the boy, when the King was done and was satisfied he left the little boy, this same boy was expected to go to school that morning. Imagine waking up to such beatings and still expected to go to school. Parenting??? Is there no way our African parents learn good parenting? Why must you transfer aggression on these children, why must you show your frustration on these children?
I have also witnessed a mother wake young children with curses and abuses. I once listened to a pastor preach and he said, whatever word you sow in a child, stays in and yields that same seed sown in him/her. How do you wake up to curses, how do you wake up to early morning shouts, how do you open your mouth as a mother and abuse children just because they're not your blood? And then you hear words like, "I don't wish to curse them, I'm just going through alot".......Nonsense. What makes you a good mother? You think is feeding your child at the right time? Not scolding him when he goes wrong? Begging him when he does rubbish? Then lashing out at other peoples' 's children? You have God to deal with. I just feel it's complete wickedness and witchcraft. Work on your emotions, work on your problems, who told you these children do not also have their problems, you think your problem is greater than the next person? You must be kidding ma. Wake up to reality, you are the cause of your problems, work on yourself, choose to be happy, stay with the right circle. These children need happiness, give them the same treatment you give your child/children.
May God help us all.
Like i always say, our kids are extension of who we are.
ReplyDeleteMost parents don't know how lucky they are having kids to start with,given these kids ain't even urs, u can't make a life as a human, they are given to u by God to be their Guardian.
Scolding is essential,*spare the rod and spoil the child* but African parents mostly don't chastise their kids to instill discipline in them,they do to instill Fear,Prolly thinking at some point Fear would equate to bin disciplined.A child living with fear is a broken pthem, most parents just don't know that (Imagine a world without fear)
Growing up,i got whooped alot,its a norm in almost all African homes but my parents always have these long conversations to as why u are about to be whooped*Hilarious huhn?*and somehow;someway I learnt morals,difference between right&wrong,the initiative of taking charge of my own reasoning,not outta fear but with the intent of bin the better kid..*& of cuz without bin stroked with a club*
On a departing note "Kids are like plain sheets,parents are the brush & water-color.As a parent u given the opportunity to create a fine art out of your kids, what u gonna paint in the life of your kids??You think about that for a minute. So before u slap ur daughter 4 times for spilling that glass of water,or spank ur boy for bin a kid; a kid that he really is. Ask yourself what u really painting into that book.Fear or discipline?
I feel couples should go through severe talks, and teachings about good parenting. I grew up in African home where discipline was the order of the day. There's a lot to learn, a lot to know....i choose discipline over fear. I want to be my children's best friend but won't hesitate to caution them.
Delete