Strange but good feeling......I Like!

Excited, happy, glad, fascinated....i need more words....thats how I feel, same time, it's mixed with a heavy heart, fear, i'm not so sure if I can describe the way I feel in one word. No, no, I can't. But I love that I am happy, I love that I smile each day even after I realised my B.P was a 120/90, quite high for my age, nah....not good at all, not good 1 bit, but I'm happy, couldn't it be me trying to think less, is there a particular thing going on in my life that i'm not aware of? Things haven't completely fallen in place as I want them to? So why am I happy? Why do I have smiles everyday? Why do I automatically feel loved? Why do I stand by the mirror each day and see myself glow? Even with the new development on my face- the large pimples that just flooded my face, i'm still happy. 

I did not apply for a contract, I did not win a contract, I haven't completed my Masters, I still don't have a car, I still need a lot of stuff: shoes, dresses, bags, weaves, etc, so, why do I feel butterflies, pardon me, why do I feel the whole zoo in my stomach? Why?

For whatever reason this is, God please let it stay, let it be forever, I love this feeling, I love this happiness, I love this moment, I love that i'm happy, I love love love love love everything.‎