My own kinda poem

A mix of sweet and bitter taste.

A heavy heart I carry‎

The hot and cold feel

You have no idea that my heart is in denial,

My happiness is gradually fading as I walk in this world.

The thoughts in my head have me wishing I had all sorted out in a blink.

Everything I once dreamed of seems like a mirage, it keeps fading.

I'm gradually drawing away from the sun.

My days are so long with the burden, I want to see it drop each day but it's been adamant.

I put up a smile like I'm having a performance at the Headies.

But I question myself to ask if I put up this act just to hold on or save a face.

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 Sometimes I wake up at midnight, and wonder to myself if the morning will be that morning when I go back to my old happy self.

I wonder if the little things in life that made me who I am, will come back to put a smile on my face.

I wonder if I will fully find that peace and love I desire.

I also wonder who will eventually put that spark in my life again, will it be now or later?

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I want to hold on tight to something that would make me go back to my amazing ME.‎

I want to confidently own a thing/person and have right over it/him.‎

‎I want to loose myself completely.

I want to feel that yesterday is better than today and will be better than tomorrow, not so much to ask for....‎