How to have a healthy long distance relationship...

Culled from Everyday Feminism
Whether you and your loved one are three hours away or three time zonesaway, you are in a long-distance relationship.

Chances are, you have already Googled such phrases like “making it work long distance” and “long distance cheating.” L‎ong distance relationships are tough. Whoever told you that long distance relationships are easy lied to you.

On the flipside, you also should not believe the naysayers: Not all long distance relationships fail.

Here are some tips:

1. Talk about Your Future before Discussing a Future Together

This is very important. (That’s why it’s the first piece of advice. Do this first.)

Where do you see yourself in the near future, both geographically and professionally? Do you want to get married and have children? Do you want to go backpacking in America for a year when you turn thirty? Do you foresee some huge life-changing (and wallet-depleting and socially draining) event like law school in the future? You have to know that other person – like, really know that person.

When all you have is a voice at the other end of the phone, you need to know who that person is and everything they want to be, because that will hold you together at the end.

For a lack of better words, you need to know that they are “worth it.”

Next, when will the long distance end? It is important to have a finish line in sight, because you need to look forward to an end.

2. Trust One Another and Communicate Often

This sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s not.

Long distance relationships can make you irrational and suspicious.

Why?

Because you can’t see the other person on a regular basis. Hell, even people in close-proximity relationships have trust issues. Long distance only magnifies these fears.

Trust is the knowledge that the other person cares deeply for you. This other person cares so much for you that they will never intentionally hurt you. Trust sounds a lot like blind faith, but I think it is a two-way street, and it starts with communicating often.

3. Travel to New Places Together

This piece of advice was born from necessity. Neither one of you lives there, so you’re not thinking about work, laundry, chores, and so on.

Most importantly, traveling builds your“relationship muscle.” In other words, traveling can help your relationship grow further.

4. Celebrate (and Evaluate) Your Relationship on a Regular Basis

Here’s the celebration I promised, but I snuck in that evaluation part.

Celebrating your relationship isn’t just about going out to dinner every month and saying “Hey, we’re still together! Happy Four Months!” 

Celebration is about not taking each other for granted.  In a long distance relationship, it is important to celebrate all the good in your relationship. This means explicitly having a conversation about how you appreciate the other person and how they enrich your life.

On the flip side, these milestones are also opportunities to evaluate your relationship.

Inspired by POTUS, we call this the“State of the Relationship”conversation.

Ask each other: When was the last time we argued? What was it about? How could we have prevented it? How can we grow from our experiences and support one another? What are our goals for the near future? How can we, together, be better people? 

Because in any healthy relationship, you should be honest and communicative, be open about your futures, support each other to be better people, and celebrate/evaluate your relationship on a regular basis.

Distance should not change that.

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