LET'S MEET YOU...
My name is Jonathan Houston. I am the author of my first book Here I AM, by which I was commissioned to write at 9 years old after an instance when my Christian mother had again terrorized me in our home. The Father in Heaven had personally asked me to write a book journaling my abusive past, specifically those of my Christian mother— all the world will know why so many abuses and painful secrets go hidden, so all parents will know to review those whom watch their child by surveying their heart and not their charm or credentials, so all the world will know that secrets can destroy a person, a family, a lineage, a city, a state and local government, and even the greatest nation in the world. I was born in Los Angeles, CA when my parents together left the southern states to chase a dream to be successful actors (In the 1800s men would chase gold. At the end of the 20th century men and women chased the dream of being a star. Only few come up with plenty; the rest come up empty.).
HOW WAS GROWING UP LIKE???
Within the first 3 years of my life my parents moved to divorce. I was now raised thousands of miles away from the heart of my lineage, and I lived in a single-parent home with my mother. My father has always been very much in my life. Many of my abuses have stemmed from daycares, camps and persons my parents trusted with me whom were outside our family circle of friends. There was no abuse that could compare to the abuse laid bare by my Christian mother.
While both of my parents carried the same aspirations to be a star and have a successful acting career, the heavy laden of financial burdens rested on my mother’s shoulders. Ultimately her tension was often released via brash abuses which began being inflicted upon me prior to reaching the age of 4. Many have become humorously accustomed to the saying “beat me like a runaway slave”; moreover, this was my life within the confines of my home. Since my mother’s profession served as an actress, and her image was a heightened concern, my mother knew how to change my mood to a joyous one when we were visiting company or when company was visiting us (This was usually following an abusive happening with my mother).
HOW DID YOU GO THROUGH THE ABUSES???
One of the many reasons no one knew of the abuses being hurled on me from my Christian mother, is because I did have an honest smile when my mother was indeed kind to me. The second reason is because abuse was introduced in my life so early I thought it was a natural part of life. I didn’t even admit I was abused until I was about 19 years old while learning the hints of a child being abused in my Child Psychology course while studying in my Undergraduate courses. The third reason is because I was a meek child. You would have to draw such information out of me; you would also have to know that I was abused to ask the right questions to get it out of me. Hence, no one knew I was being abused.
My mother has always been a very kind and giving woman. She is charming and loving to many people. She reads the word of God and she is especially encouraging and insightful unto many, always using the word of God to bring peace and speak peace to many. She is even hailed today as being head of the Foster Care/Adoption Committee in her church for nearly 25 years. My mother has much clout and esteem in her surroundings. This truth of her was a deception to every man and woman outside our home. It was even a deception unto me as a child. For so many years I sought to appeal to that “revered’ side. Still, the abuse carried on until I was 13 years old. When it stopped, her verbal abuse intensified, and in two of my teenage years I became a masochist: one who cuts his own flesh. Moreover, my mother was not the core of my masochism. She was merely the kerosene thrown on the fire.
YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED DAD'S CONTRIBUTION...
My masochism arose because since the time of my father’s marriage when I was 10 years old, he has always portrayed in his actions having to choose whom he should love more, his wife or me. He never learned that he didn’t have to choose; all he had to do was love each of us separately with the love God gave him. As a result, my relationship with my father has always often been stricken, on the rocks, or even threatened to be no more on one occasion, because my relationship with his wife carried much tension.
These are the reasons why I began to hate and desire to move away from Christianity. Moreover, the only reason I am a Christian is because Jesus, the person, had been visiting me all along. He taught me how to love: to love beyond the knowledge of good and evil, since what you know about someone corrupts how you love someone. He taught me how to forgive. He taught me how to honor my mother, and understand what He calls honor, even if my mother was my primary abuser. He taught me how to depend on His fatherhood. He even taught me that He had his own relationship with the Father which was separate from God’s children and the Holy Spirit (This was something I sought to implement with my own children.).
HOW HAS IT BEEN HAVING YOUR OWN FAMILY???
Today I am a married man with four children. I have been married for over 7 years. My first son came literally 9 months after we got married: a “Honeymoon baby”. My greatest relaxation is watching them grow, play, roll around and play practical jokes on me. I get the greatest peace knowing that they have not been touched, mishandled, or neglected. My son is almost 6 ½ years old. At his age I had already been abused, molested, and tortured a number of times. He will never know what it’s like for his own parent to abuse him. He will never lack having a father whom loves him unconditionally, since I have personally asked the Lord to judge me every year from his mercy seat in every area of my life.
WHAT HAS BEEN PEOPLES' REACTIONS AFTER WRITING "HERE I AM"?
Since I have written Here I AM many of my family/friends cannot understand how I was abused. Much of my family/friends cannot compute how all of a sudden I am stating that I have had face-to-face appearances, and other visitations from the Lord, since I was almost 4 years old. Much of the confusion comes from me just now deciding to talk about it. The answer is quite simple.
I have had the lifelong struggle to make one decision. I have had to choose: (1) to not break my mother’s heart and destroy her reputation by telling the truth or (2) to testify of my true relationship of Jesus and how it came about. Since God is God and Jesus, who is the Son of God, has always been faithful to me, even before I was born, I chose to follow Jesus. I wrote this book in obedience to the Godhead (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost).
WHAT WILL BE YOUR ADVICE TO THE YOUNG ONES???
To the children whom are being abused, neglected, tortured and/or molested, I say to you. Jesus is near. He has not left you comfortless. Even if you cannot see Him, He is there with you. You must know that a moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory, even if that moment of pain is 15 years long. God truly desires to make you great—His ways are not your ways; He did not send the evil that was done to you. He will avenge you, and He will do it with love. He will teach you how to love those whom hurt you, betray you, disappoint you, and even seek to do evil toward you, even if they are your own family. The biggest joy you can have is that you love and have the boldness to share your testimony regardless of what people say to you. That, my friend, is freedom.
My life will teach my children to be willing to stand for truth (whom is a person and not information: Jesus) even if it means your very life. This is the example my Lord displayed on the cross. I’d rather lose the world, friends, family, and all, to gain Jesus, then to gain favor from men and lose even a fraction of intimacy with Jesus.
Twitter: The Harbinger— @Holy_Harbinger
Facebook: JG Houston
Ministry Website: Hereiaminternational.com
Latest Video: Is Face to Face with Jesus Real?
Anticipated Video: Interview on Here I AM / Release Date: End of October 2015
tears.......this is inspiring, Pls how can i get a copy of the book?
ReplyDeleteVisit hereiaminternational.com. click the link for purchase on the main page. Bless you.
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